Life is ever-changing; nothing stays the same. There are rarely any constants that we can rely on, but that doesn’t mean we have to sit and wallow in our own pity. As human beings, we focus on our desires and often forget to think of others. To be happy in life, you have to learn to accept change in all aspects, including change within yourself.
Lately, I’ve experienced a lot of rapid changes: moving to college, ending a long-term relationship, family illnesses, debt, etc.. These are big things, and I’m the kind of person who sometimes gets stuck in a negative mindset. I decided I didn’t want to do that. I lost myself, who I am as a person, and I was forced to go through the motions and accept them.
I’m not going to lie, shit’s pretty difficult sometimes. It may seem like the world is completely against you, you can never catch a break, but at some point you have to stop blaming the world for all of your problems. We all hold resentment towards someone or something that had nothing to do with why we are upset. Things change, they’re always going to change, and life won’t pause for you. Once you realize how insignificant you are to the world, you learn to appreciate those you are significant to.
We have to quit focusing on what the world thinks of us and start focusing on ourselves and those closest to us. Be yourself. Not everyone is going to accept you, and that’s fine. Not everyone is supposed to like you. If everyone liked each other, we’d live pretty boring lives until someone finally snaps.
There are a lot of good things in the world, in our lives, you just have to choose to see them. We tend to focus on the negatives. We remember all of awful things said to us and forget the compliments. Sometimes you run into bitter people who will project their feelings unto you, and honestly, the best thing to do is ignore it. Who cares what they think? If you like yourself and who you are, that’s all that matters. If you don’t, it’s time to change something.
Taking a good look at who you are can be challenging. This is because we don’t like to admit when we’re wrong. We are selfish beings, and the only way to fix that is to be mindful. Think about your actions, your emotions, your thoughts and how they affect you. Do you really want to react that way? Have you thought about the consequences? Are you lashing out because of things unrelated to what’s in front of you? Did you upset yourself by sitting in your thoughts?
As much as people like to think we are indestructible, we’re extremely fragile. The smallest things can set us off, we can be hurt by anything.
If you are wanting to change yourself for the better, here’s some tips on how to do so:
- Think. Be mindful, do things with purpose. Most of the time, we just go through the days without even thinking about what’s going on around us. Mindfulness has layers, and the most important one is being mindful of yourself, your thoughts, your emotions, and your actions. Being mindful will allow you to see more purpose in your life because you are doing things for a reason. You don’t mindlessly or impulsively make decisions.
- Do things that bring out the better parts of your personality, things that make you feel good. For me, this is yoga and meditation. I’m the kind of person who gets trapped in my thoughts, so meditation allows me to recognize my feelings, and let them pass. This is what I mean when I say “going through the motions,” you allow these thoughts and feelings to show themselves, and then let them go. If you have a negative thought, counteract it with something positive.
- Surround yourself with people who have similar goals. If you’re around people who are wanting change, wanting to grow, wanting to be the best person they can, it makes it so much easier for you. Doing this, you can learn from one another, talk through any negative habits, and just support each other. Everything is easier when you have someone who wants to help.
- Stay away from those who promote your negative behavior. If you don’t surround yourself with people who have similar goals, you will often see yourself slipping into old habits. This isn’t true for everyone, but many people will feel pressured by their friends to do things that aren’t the best for them. It can be difficult to be around people with negative patterns when you’re trying to change your own.
- Give yourself time. Change doesn’t happen overnight, although, I wish it did. Becoming who you desire to be takes time, and it can take lots of it. It can be frustrating, but it’s okay. Change is a process, and we have to practice our positive habits so it becomes easier for us. These habits will become a part of your everyday life, just as the negative ones you want to rid of.
Growing as a person and becoming more comfortable with yourself is a journey. It can be tough sometimes, but it’s so worth it. Being better to and for yourself allows you to do same for others. It can also awaken that desire of change and goodness in themselves, too. Doing what’s best for yourself is also beneficial to everyone around you.